Debunking family law myths

Only celebrities Get ‘quickie divorces’

It can often feel that those in the public eye get special treatment when it comes to their divorces. You will often see headlines claiming that Mr X was divorced in weeks after a so-called ‘quickie divorce’ but in reality celebrities are subject to the same rules and procedures as everyone else.

Since we moved into an era of ‘no fault divorce’, everyone’s divorce will take at least six months from start to finish. The timeframe is deliberate, to allow for cooling off periods and time to resolve financial claims.

When it comes to the financial settlement, no two situations are the same and the timing will be different for everyone. If you and your ex-spouse are agreed on everything then the quickest a financial settlement can be approved by the court is around 20 weeks after the divorce application is made. The majority of cases, where there is no immediate agreement, will conclude within around 12-18 months. Often there will be unavoidable delays to obtain vital financial information such as pension reports or business valuations.

Parental alienation — is it real?

It is possible for one parent to alienate the other, whether deliberately or not. However, it is also possible for one parent to falsely accuse the other parent of alienating them.

Parental alienation as a concept is difficult to explain, and often much harder to evidence. Instead of focusing on the label, look at the behaviours that make you worry that the other parent is alienating you. What are they saying, how are they acting and what are your children’s responses?

The court must allow both parties to explain the concerns they have about the other, and make determinations as to whether or not it is true based on the balance of probabilities; that is whether it is more likely to be true than not true.

Domestic abuse — no-one will believe me

When one party to the relationship makes allegations of domestic abuse the family court must start by asking itself whether determining the allegations as fact or not makes a material difference to the overall outcome.

If the answer is yes, then the court will hear from both parties, consider what other evidence there is, and make a determination on each allegation.

It is often hard to prove or evidence abuse, and often even harder to disprove allegations. It can often feel like it’s ‘their word against mine.’ The court will be looking at medical evidence, police records, witness accounts and also what you say happened and how credibly you come across, so keeping records and diaries can be really helpful.

Arrangements can be put in place at court so that you don’t have to see the other party when you are giving evidence, and to prevent them from asking you any questions directly if they don’t have a legal representative. 

Courts and judges are biased

It has long been suggested that the children of divorce will always live with their mother. That preconception stems from a generation in which a mother generally worked around the care of their children and so were considered to be their primary carer. That is not so much the case now, with many mothers returning to the workplace full time after having children and many fathers taking on a more hands-on result than in previous times.

The law relating to arrangements for children was changed in 2014 and the language was changed to give both parents a more equal standing. The child’s welfare is the court’s paramount concern. There is a starting presumption that both parents should play a role in their child’s life if it is safe for them to do so.

Similarly in finance cases, there is a common belief that wives will ‘take their husband to the cleaners’ or ‘get a meal ticket for life’ but our experience is that this is far from the truth. There is a general starting principle that assets from the marriage (regardless of whose name they are in) fall to be shared, and where possible the court will look to achieve a clean break. If it can’t be done immediately, there will be an assessment as to when it can be achieved and every case will be different.

Court cases can take years

It is exceptionally rare for any court case to take years to resolve.

If you are going through a divorce, it is likely that there will be related financial claims to resolve. If you are unable to reach agreement with your ex-partner, then court proceedings can be started to resolve matters. Ultimately, a judge will decide the final outcome if you can’t agree along the way, and most cases will settle themselves.

The court process for financial claims includes three main stages. Depending upon the demands of your local court, the majority of cases will take 12-18 months from start to finish but as mentioned earlier, very few require the third stage with a court imposed outcome.

In cases concerning the children, the process and timeframe depends upon what is being applied for.

If you are applying to the court to resolve a specific issue such as schooling or holidays, then these can be resolved within weeks.

However, if it is about the ongoing arrangements for your children then these cases often taken longer to resolve. The court will often ask CAFCASS to write a report and make recommendations, and that alone can take around three months. As with finance cases, there is generally a three stage process and most cases are resolved within 8-15 months.

If you have any concerns or need advice regarding any of these family law matters, arrange a free consultation with our family law team today.