Spiritual abuse occurs when a person or group uses religion, faith, or spiritual authority to control, manipulate, or harm others. It can happen with any religion or denomination, both during communal worship and one-on-one spiritual mentorships.
Unlike physical or emotional abuse, spiritual abuse targets a person’s deepest sense of meaning, belonging, and identity. It exploits belief and trust, turning what should be a source of comfort into a tool of coercion.
Common forms of spiritual abuse include:
- Authoritarian leadership — demanding unquestioning obedience or loyalty.
- Shame and guilt manipulation — using scripture or teachings to instil fear or self-loathing.
- Isolation — discouraging or forbidding contact with outsiders or family members.
- Exploitation — coercing people into unpaid labour, financial giving, or sexual acts.
- Silencing doubt — framing questions, critical thinking, or boundaries as rebellion or sin.
Spiritual abuse in family law
Spiritual abuse is recognised as a form of coercive control. Coercive control is a pattern of behaviours such as threats, humiliation and intimidation that seeks to dominate, isolate or subjugate another person See our article on narcissism, abuse and coercive control.
In the case of spiritual abuse, it is using spiritual or religious belief systems as the means of control. Spiritual abuse may also include other forms of domestic abuse such as physical, sexual, financial, psychological or emotional abuse.
Spiritual abuse may occur between spouses or partners, parents and children and extended families or faith communities. Some examples may include:
- Using scripture or belief to justify several forms of domestic violence
- Threatening religious or spiritual repercussions to prevent a spouse leaving a marriage.
- Preventing access to medical care or education based on religious authority.
- Forcing or coercing a person into religious rituals against their will.
- Alienating children from one parent for their religion or beliefs.
Coercive control is now a criminal offence.
How do I prove spiritual abuse?
Due to its secretive and manipulative nature spiritual abuse often does not leave physical marks, however, there are various ways that you can gather evidence to demonstrate the abuse. This is if it is safe for you to do so.
- Consider keeping a diary of the abusive behaviour somewhere that it cannot be found. Think about keeping this electronically where it can be password protected.
- Keep any text messages, letters, voicemails etc even though it is tempting to delete them especially if they are hurtful.
- Consider confiding in your GP or seek support through counselling.
- Speak to trusted friends or relatives.
- Report the abuse to the appropriate authorities such as the Police or Children’s Services, as relevant.
Seek help from experienced practitioners and specialist service providers.
How to safely leave an abusive environment
Leaving any abusive environment can feel incredibly daunting and even impossible, especially when you have been controlled and frightened by your own partner or family members.
The most important step you can take is to tell someone. Whether it’s a friend, a colleague or a dedicated charity, speaking to someone about your exit strategy will help ensure you have thought about things you may need to consider, and it will make you feel supported and give you the courage to leave.
Victims of spiritual abuse may access the same remedies as survivors of other forms of domestic abuse. There are a variety of domestic abuse protections available. You can also discuss safety measures that the Family Court can put in place with a solicitor. These include:
- if you want to ensure your partner can’t contact or approach you, you can apply for a Non-Molestation Order
- if you want to stay in the house and exclude your partner, then you can apply for an Occupation Order
What to do in an emergency situation
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger due to domestic abuse entailing spiritual abuse, the most important thing is to act quickly and seek protection:
- Call 999: always dial the police in an emergency situation. They can arrest perpetrators, begin investigations, and initiate emergency protective orders.
- Seek legal advice: contact a solicitor experienced in family and/or police law to understand your rights and options.
- Reach out for support: specialist organisations can offer everything from safe accommodation to mental health counselling and legal support.
If you or someone you know is experiencing spiritual abuse, seek legal advice and support from one of our expert family solicitors.
